The waiting stinks.

I realize that a significant part of this process is waiting. But, the waiting is hard. There's a very big part of us that wants to say "just tell us either way."

But, we've got to remember that there are more people involved than just us. They've got lives. They've got things going on.

The world doesn't revolve around me.

Adoption is greater than the universe.

Piper on Adoption.

I would suggest that you seriously consider not only supporting, but also doing adoption, both spiritually ... and also in terms of finding children who have no mom and dad who could be folded into a family—just like God planned from eternity to fold sinners like us, through Christ, into his everlasting family of joy.

HT: Desiring God Ministries

Embracing the Grief of Adoption

Last night, we had dinner with some new friends. We've known them for a while, but not all that well - we go to the same church. (We are consistently meeting new people, and asking them how long they've gone to our church. Most of the time we hear answers like "four years.") At one point, Kevin said "Adoption is filled with loss."

There's loss for families who give up a child for Adoption. There's loss for adoptive parents who aren't placed with a child. There's loss for the child.

Here's an article from AdoptiveDads.org that raises this issue.

I was reminded last night of something I already knew, though I often try to forget it. It is one of the more sobering realities of adoption – the fact that there is no adoption without loss and pain . . . and grief.

...

Last night I saw through my son’s tears and heard in his words the deep, heartbreaking grief that lurks in the shadows of adoption. It was an intense sorrow caused by the loss he feels and understands now more than ever before. My son’s grief is for that which never was and for what will never be.

Read the whole thing here.

"I want to be wanted."

The teens who do want to be adopted are working on a deadline: age 18. That's when you "age out" and can no longer be adopted.

Think about how many times since you turned 18 that you have seen your family -- the holidays, birthdays, weddings -- or needed them, financially, emotionally or for advice. More than 55 percent of men and 46 percent of women ages 18 to 24 still live with their parents, according to the U.S. Census in 2002. In Boulder County, that translates to more than 11,000 young adults.

Read the whole article here.

HT: Shaohanna's Hope

Roller Coaster

Well, it seems as though life will be like this picture for a while. That's OK.

Be praying for the birth mom. She's got a tough life, and a lot of tough situations.

No meeting today

The meeting between the Case Worker and the Birthmom that was to happen today was pushed back. I can't really go into the details, but it is a situation that needs prayer.

Thanks,

A whilrwind weekend.

For the past seven years that Tricia and I have been married, we have often heard of children who were in need. Sometimes this was a physical need, sometimes spiritual, but what has captured our hearts so often have been children who need a home and a family. About two years ago, Tricia and I decided to start down the path of pursuing Adoption.

At any given time, there are about 150,000 kids in the United States that are in Foster Care waiting for adoptive parents. There is a particular need for parents who are willing and able to adopt older children. For every baby that is available for adoption, there are approximately 50 children over the age of five waiting for families. In light of that need, our desire was to adopt a child between the age of 5 and 10.

We had several interviews with several state agencies, and were fairly far into the process - about to get a home study done. Then, we stopped.

At the time, we realized that we really wanted to adopt a child, but we weren't 100% at the same place with it. There were other factors, but to make a very long story short, we decided to hold off on moving any farther forward. That was about a year ago. There really has been no movement, and very little conversation about it in the past year - though we think it's been in the back of our minds.

Yesterday, we received a call from Tricia's mother in Kansas. (This gets a little complicated, so please bear with me as I attempt to explain). Tricia's brother, Travis, had neighbors who have adopted three children. These neighbors are friends with Trish's mom (Doris), and she told them two years ago that we were moving towards adoption. His name is Ben. Ben is an investment advisor. One of his clients has a grand-daughter who is expecting a baby girl in May, and for various reasons has decided to give the baby up for adoption, but didn't know how to proceed. Ben referred her to an agency in Wichita. When Ben's wife heard about this situation, she said "We need to call Doris right now." So, yesterday, we get a call from Tricia's mother - completely out of the blue - telling us about this baby, and that Ben would like to introduce us to the birth mother, and see if it would be a good fit.

Wow.

Here's the deal. We've decided to move forward in faith, and see if this is something that God would have us do. We have not talked about this in a while, and we have not really ever considered adopting a baby. But, we feel that we need to pay attention. This situation found us - we were not looking for it at all. We don't know what will come out of this, but we want to see if God wants us to be a part of this.

We know of no greater way to display the love of Christ in a tangeable way than to provide a home for a child who may not otherwise have one. We are convinced of this. Hosea tells us that "Assyria shall not save us; we will not ride on horses; and we will say no more, ‘Our God,’ to the work of our hands. In you the orphan finds mercy.” James says that "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

Beyond that, we've been Adopted by God, and Jesus was even adopted by Joseph. Adoption is a part of God's plan, and it is at the core of the Gospel. This is not about us. It's not about a baby. It's not even about adoption - this is about God. This is about the spread of the Gospel to future generations.

I write this e-mail to ask for your prayers. Would you pray for us, that God would give us wisdom. Two months doesn't seem like a whole lot of time, but we know it's plenty of time for the God of the Universe to accomplish what he wants to accomplish. Would you pray that we would discern how we can best serve this situation -- that may or may not be adopting this baby. We don't know. Could you pray that we would come to a quick understanding of the process. At this point, we are also praying for the birth mother. Our prayer is that ultimately through this situation, she would see Christ for who he is. If nothing else, we'd like for a bunch of people to be praying for her.

At this point, there are three other couples that we know of who have been introduced to the birth mother. We'd like to ask you to pray for these couples too. Our prayer is that they would be encouraged through this process.

Please pray! Also, please feel free to ask us any questions you want. We want to be an open book. This is a very exciting, very scary, but faith-building time. This thing could go in any number of directions. We don't know what will happen, but we do have a God who does. We also know that there are several lives that may be forever altered in the next six weeks.

Together for Adoption

There's a fairly new organization out there called "Together For Adoption".

They've got a good post called "God, the Father who Adopts" that's worth a quick read.

They quote the book "Knowing God the Father through the Old Testament". Here's a short quote.

God is Father to those who have lost the natural bonds of human protection, whether because of rejection, or because of natural bereavement.

Back into Blogging

It's been a while since I've posted anything to this blog.

Here's to getting back into it.

Father drops off 9 kids under Neb. safe haven law

18 Seconds

Statistics show that every 18 seconds, a child somewhere in the world becomes an orphan. In a typical day of work, 1,600 children will become orphans. In the United States alone, there are half a million children in the foster care system, and about 120,000 children waiting for adoptive placements. These are staggering numbers. The danger is that they stay "just numbers".

Last night, Tricia and I went to a Steven Curtis Chapman concert in Brookfield. I've blogged about his efforts to promote adoption in the past. He has founded a ministry called "Shaohanna's Hope" which provides grants to families who want to adopt, but can't. During his current concert tour, the ministry collects spare change to provide an on-the-spot grant to a family in the area who is adopting.

At the concert last night, over $5,400 was raised. They typically give a $4,000 grant on a night. There are also donors who do matching contributions (to varying degrees). What that means is that based on the graciousness of the crowd last night, two families will receive the grants.

In the time that you've taken to read this post, another 4 or 5 children have become orphans.

Thanks for reading!