Adoption is Redemption

I LOVE this little tidbit...

My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He redeems us, we can’t even really appreciate or comprehend it, just like Dimitri will never comprehend or fully appreciate what is about to happen to him … but … he will live in the fruit of it. As his Daddy, I will never expect him to understand all of this or even to thank me. I just want to watch him live in the benefits of my love and experience the joys of being an heir in my family. This is how our heavenly “Papa” feels towards us.

- Derek Loux

HT: (Z)

Shaun Groves

Shaun Groves, in a recent blog post, asks the question "Individual (only a select few are supposed to do it) or universal (every Christian who isn’t nuts or destitute should do it)?"

Here's the background...

What if God’s will comes in two brands: Individual and Universal.

The first answers the questions we’re asking: What should I study? Who should I marry? Where should I live? God’s individual will is for my life only. It’s often grainy, hard to get at, often not making sense until in hindsight.

The universal will of God answers the questions God most wants us to ask. Care for your enemies. Don’t steal. Take only your daily bread. God’s universal will applies to all Christians everywhere, regardless of age, denominational bent or nationality. God’s universal will is frighteningly clear much of the time, hard to wriggle around.

God wills that some Christians get married (individual will) but that every Christian respect and protect marriage (universal will).

God wills that some Christians move to Africa (individual will) but that every Christian care for the poor in some way (universal will).

God wills that some Christians become teachers (individual will) but that every Christian pass on what they know about God to others (universal will).

So where does adoption fall?

Individual (only a select few are supposed to do it) or universal (every Christian who isn’t nuts or destitute should do it)?

I'll attempt to give my answer to the question. Though, I do have a substantial caveat. I struggle with the concept of an "individual will" of God. I won't go into that here. For more information about that, check out Greg Koukul's "Decision Making and the Will of God." At $10, it's a little of an investment, but well worth it.

So... My Answer:
Both.

My good friend Dennis said to me "Adoption is not for every Christian family, but is something that every Christian family should consider." Now, we are called to care for orphans (James 1:27), but does that mean that as a Christian, I'm automatically called to adopt? No. Yes, there clearly are some who are to adopt -- an that greatly honors God. (If you are considering adopting, check out this list of "diagnostic questions" prepared by my church.)

But, what about the rest. Christians should be involved in orphan care. That can take on as many different forms as there are Christians, but be involved. What does this look like? Here's some ideas...

• Foster Care
• Respite Care (For Foster Care families)
• Financially supporting an Adoption Agency
• Financially supporting a couple who is adopting
• Helping at a Crisis Pregnancy Center
• Helping a foster care family buy clothes for their foster kids
• Pray for orphans, foster care families, and families adopting
• Learn about the Doctrine of Adoption
• Volunteer at a Rescue Mission

There are countless ways to, being motivated by grace, care for orphans. So, adoption is for all to consider and some to do, but caring for orphans is for all to do.

Prayer Request

I don't know how many people actually read this blog. That's OK. Last time I looked, it wasn't that many.

However, if you do happen to read this, please consider praying for our friends Doug and Jennifer. A few years ago, they were given custody of their two nephews. This became permanent after a long court battle that ended about two years ago. The boys have flourished in their home, and are doing great. They play football and love to have fun. I think the oldest is 13.

Doug and Jennifer have found out that the biological mother wants custody back, and there is a court hearing tomorrow. She has (according to our friends) made very little attempt over the past 5 years to be in the boys lives. Any times she's scheduled, she has not shown up for. If the court were to rule in favor of the mom, it would be devastating, both for our friends, but mainly for the boys.

If you read this, please pray for our friends, and the right outcome of this situation.

Thanks!

Preparing for the unknown

About a week ago, Trish and I were living life. I suppose you could say we were content. We were talking about vacations, budgets, and how to not waste Tricia's unemployment. Then, we got the call about the baby. Life became even more unknown.

It's interesting that even though all of life is full of the unknown, it becomes all the more apparent when you begin to think about how to prepare for the unknown. This adoption could go one of many ways. Any number of these scenarios in theory ends up with us being parents. Any number of these scenarios in theory ends up with us not being parents. How do you prepare for that?

Honestly, I have no clue. But, I do know a few things that will help us prepare for whatever lies ahead.

#1. God is Sovereign and interested in His glory. The gospel is a story of adoption. It is the story of how we all rebelled against God, and in His kindness, he adopts back. For the believer, you are adopted into God's household, and given all the benefits of being a born heir. This brings God glory. God cares passionately about adoption... passionately enough to send His one and only son to die a horrific death on the Cross to make the adoption of sinners possible. This is amazing news. Our pursuit of this adoption is not as much about us being parents (though that is something we're excited about), as it is having the opportunity to show a little girl the extent to which God went to adopt sinners like her mom and dad.

#2. "He who did not spare His own son, but gave him up for us all, how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things." That's a lot of Him's and He's, but it speaks of a God who provides everything needed for a task to which he has called someone. As Christians, we have been called out of the darkness of our sin, and into the light of the Glory of God. We are essentially in conflict with the world around us, and even to some degree ourselves. But, God promises to give us everything we need for life and for Godliness. I am convinced that if He has called me to be an adoptive parent, that he will "graciously give me all things" I need to accomplish the task of parenting to His glory.

#3. The details. As I have said, any number of things could happen, and this adoption could fall through. I'm OK with that. Of course, my preference is that it wouldn't - that it would be a smooth process. But this is messy. That shouldn't scare us off. God brought this opportunity to us. Our job is to be faithful and see where it goes. It may go nowhere. But, it would be wrong of us to ignore it. We may get our hearts broken. That's OK. It'll be an opportunity to grow.

All this to say... we don't know what will happen. But, we know the one who does. And we trust that He will make this crooked path straight.

Thanks for reading.

The waiting stinks.

I realize that a significant part of this process is waiting. But, the waiting is hard. There's a very big part of us that wants to say "just tell us either way."

But, we've got to remember that there are more people involved than just us. They've got lives. They've got things going on.

The world doesn't revolve around me.

18 Seconds

Statistics show that every 18 seconds, a child somewhere in the world becomes an orphan. In a typical day of work, 1,600 children will become orphans. In the United States alone, there are half a million children in the foster care system, and about 120,000 children waiting for adoptive placements. These are staggering numbers. The danger is that they stay "just numbers".

Last night, Tricia and I went to a Steven Curtis Chapman concert in Brookfield. I've blogged about his efforts to promote adoption in the past. He has founded a ministry called "Shaohanna's Hope" which provides grants to families who want to adopt, but can't. During his current concert tour, the ministry collects spare change to provide an on-the-spot grant to a family in the area who is adopting.

At the concert last night, over $5,400 was raised. They typically give a $4,000 grant on a night. There are also donors who do matching contributions (to varying degrees). What that means is that based on the graciousness of the crowd last night, two families will receive the grants.

In the time that you've taken to read this post, another 4 or 5 children have become orphans.

Thanks for reading!

100%

Several years ago, I was presented with a ministry opportunity in Montana as a Worship and Youth pastor. It was something right up my alley, and, quite frankly, something I really wanted to do. Over several months, as Tricia and I sought God's wisdom on the situation, I became more and more convinced that this would be the right move to make. We researched the town, the church, the state, and everything else we could think of. I was convinced. I asked Tricia what she thought, and she said "Well, I'm not 100% there, but if you think this is what God wants us to do, then let's go for it."

In the midst of this decision making process, we found ourselves in the Twin cities, visiting some friends. I ended up talking to the pastor of their church (who we had gotten to know) about this, and asked him for wisdom. It was at that moment that he gave me one of the most profound pieces of wisdom I'd ever heard.

"If your wife isn't 100% behind this, don't do it." Plain and simple. He told me that he's seen too many pastors' marriages broken because the husband pursued what "God wanted him to do" to the exclusion of his wife. In big decisions like that, God wants us to be in unity as a family. I think the bottom line question for me was this: Do I desire to be in ministry more than I desire unity with my wife?

It was a tough thing to have to withdraw from the process, but I learned something in the process. God has given my wife to me for my good, and for His glory. My most significant ministry opportunity and responsibility is with my wife. At that point in our marriage (5 years ago), I'm not sure that I knew how to care for her, and going into this ministry opportunity would have furthered my ignorance and sin in not caring for her.

But, this blog is about adoption. I think there are some valuable lessons to be learned here too. In a decision as significant as whether or not to adopt, it is vital that there is 100% unity between husband and wife. If the wife is 100% there, and the husband is only 75% there... wait. If the husband is 100% there and the wife is 99% there... wait. If you are the one who is 100% there, pray for your spouse. If you are the one who is 75% there, pray for your spouse who is 100% there. Pray for unity in whatever decision is to be made.

There is much more that could be said about this topic, and maybe I'll explore it a little more as time goes on. If you have any thoughts or comments, please let us know!

Prayers for this week...

Hi Everyone,

There really hasn't been much happening on the Adoption front lately.  There is a reason, which I will explain here.

For the past 7 years, we've attended what we think is the best church on the planet, CrossWay.  Well, CrossWay is planning on planting a church in Milwaukee in the next 9 months to a year, and Tricia and I are considering going.  This would mean a move for us, since our desire is to be physically close to our church.  As you can probably imagine, this may have an impact on the adoption process.  We're trying to figure that out right now.

I think it's a situation of this:  should we decide to go on the plant, we feel we should decide before long.  We don't want to be in a position of adopting a child, and then moving to Milwaukee right away.  I think we'd rather move first, then start the home-studies, etc.

So, at this point, there is no movement on the Adoption, and there may not be for a few weeks till we figure out this whole Milwaukee thing.

In light of that, would you please pray for us for:

• Wisdom.  We want to do the right thing and make the right decisions for the right reasons.
• Patience.  I think we're realizing that the questions are a lot easier to ask than they are to answer.
• Clarity. 
  

Thanks for reading.  (And for praying)

Friday's Meeting

I just wanted to provide a quick update on the meeting we had on Friday.  We met with the Special Needs Adoption coordinator for the state of Wisconsin for about an hour on Friday.  It was primarily a "get to know you" type of thing, so not too much pressure.  She asked us some questions about why we are pursuing this, etc. 

The worker walked in, and said "I love the color of your Kitchen.  If it were up to me, I'd approve you right now."  That really set the tone of the meeting.  She said that she was impressed by how much we'd done our homework, and already invested in the process. 

Cool.

So from here, we should get an application in the mail in a few weeks, then fill it out, send it back in, they'll review it and if all goes well, we'll have a caseworker assigned to us by June.

Prayer Requests

• That we'd remain faith-filled in this process.
• That all glory and honor for "success" would be God's.
• That Tricia and I would be discerning, and seek God's will for other decisions that need to be made regarding our lives (both in light of the adoption and not.)

Thanks for reading!

Not much going on right now...

At first, my goal was to post as often as possible, because it would get me in the habit of looking for things to do with Adoption.  Also, I guess I was hoping that there would be at least some tidbit of news to share on a frequent basis. 

 

This week, at least, I think I realized that it might sometimes be a while between events.  I can't expect this thing to be a quick, fast-moving process.  Yeah, we have to be on top of things, and that can help speed this process along, but there might be weeks where nothing happens.  Or weeks (maybe months) when nothing is new.

 

I guess I hope I can escape the tendency to not post stuff here when that happens.

 

In the mean-time, we've heard back from the state.  Tricia was going to call them today and set up a home-visit for the 4th (Next Friday).  This is an intial "get to know you" type of meeting with DFS.  Don't quite know what to expect, but I have a feeling it's going to be low-key enough.  Probably more of a "get-to-know-you" and "Why are you doing this" type of meeting. 

 

Please join us in continuing to pray that God would be glorified in this, and that we would have faith that He is at work, even when we don't see things happening.

PACE Class - Part 1, 2, 3, and 6

So our 6 hour training only lasted 3 1/2 hours! We got there and our instructor said, "It's a nice day, so let's get done early!"

We went through PACE classes 1, 2, 3 and 6. PACE stands for "Partners in Alternative Care Education." It's a course (or set of 12 courses) that are put on by the state designed to inform Foster Caregivers of their roles, responsibilities, and the challenges they might face as they foster.

There are 12 classes. We went to 4.

1. Orientation and overview of Foster Care, Kinship, and Adoption.
2. Team building
3. Family Systems and Abuse and Neglect.
4. Impact of Abuse and Neglect on Child Development.
5. Attachment, Separation and Placement.
6. Discipline and Behavior Management.
7. Cultural Issues in Placement.
8. Primary Families
9. Sexual Abuse.
10. Effects of Care giving on the Family.
11. Permanency Issues for Children.
12. Permanency Issues for Families.

Since we've completed these four courses, we're now eligible to take Foster care placements. Of course, we're not licensed yet, so it's all irrelevant.

Here's the big kicker. State rules regarding requirements for adoption education are changing. We may (or may not) have met the requirements by attending these classes. It'll be up to the individual caseworker as to whether or not they want to accept these classes. We're praying that they will.

Training Day

No, We're not going to see the Denzel Washington movie.  No, Denzel is not coming to our house.  And No, Denzel is not my long-lost cousin.

 

Today is Training Day.  The State of Wisconsin requires each foster family to go through 12 hours of training to be licensed.  (These rules are changing right now, and no one really knows what the end result will be.)  So, we're going to CIP (Community Impact Program) in about a half hour for six hours of classes.  It's hard to know what to expect. 

 

Anyway.  I'm sure we'll have much to blog about in 6 hours or so.

Encouraging E-Mails

We recieved this e-mail from Tricia's Aunt today. It was very encouraging, yet saddening to read. (Is "saddening" a word?) Rita and Merle work with Impact North ministries in Canada. (Rita, I hope this is OK)... I wanted to share this for a couple of reasons. First of all, so that you might pray for what God is doing in Canada. Second of all, that we might pray that God would cause the governments to soften their position on "white" people adopting Native children.

Dear Kyle and Tricia,
Thanks for including us in your mass email!:) We are behind you all the way in your adoption plans and procedures. I enjoyed reading your blog, too and will keep checking in on it from time to time. I wish I could connect you with some of the needy kids in this area. However, for some time now it's been extremely difficult for native kids to be adopted to anyone in the States or to "white" parents.

Today Merle and I plan to fly up to Pikangikum to visit Colleen, our single missionary up there. Then tomorrow we want to fly further north to visit the Lyndaker's at Poplar Hill. At both places I hope to connect with some of the young girls that I've cared for out here in R.L while they were in Child and Family Services care. There is so much sadness in these communities as well as pain, grief, heartache, etc., etc.
Take care,
Rita

It's amazing how laws and policies are built to make these children only adoptable by other Native Americans. While I respect the government's desire to make sure these kids are adopted from within their own culture, the sad reality is that there are more adoptable Native American children than there are available Native American homes willing and/or able to adopt.

It's extremely frustrating knowing that a "no home is better than a non-Native home" attitude is held by the very ones who are supposed to protect and serve these kids. I know that whoever we adopt, there will be a culture adjustment, both by Tricia and I, and by the child. We may end up adopting a child from Arizona or North Carolina or somewhere else, and those are vastly different cultures than even here in Wisconsin. Then they will have to get used to Tricia's family culture, and hanging out with all those Amish people. :) Heritage will change, and will evolve. But, what is most important in my mind is that these kids have good homes. That transcends culture. Or it should.

Feedback

I wanted to say a big "Thank You" to everyone who has taken the time to respond with encouragement and prayers to the e-mail we sent out on Thursday. It's amazing to know that we're part of a family and community that cares the way that you all do. Thank You!

Update on Kyle and Tricia Holder

NOTE: This is an e-mail that I sent out to our friends and family just a few seconds ago.

Hello,

First of all, I wanted to apologize for the impersonal nature of this e-mail. Tricia and I are not ones to send out mass e-mails with the latest "What's Up with the Holders" news and such. Our style is much more of the "sit down and chat about stuff for a while." Well, because of the sweeping nature of what's been going on in our lives, and the fact that we are likely separated by many miles (in at least one case, well, it's a LOT of miles to Madagascar), we feel that the e-mail route is the best.

For the past five years that Tricia and I have been married, we have often heard of children who were in need. Sometimes this was a physical need, sometimes spiritual, but what has captured our hearts so often have been children who need a home and a family. We have often prayed and asked what we can do, and recently have recieved an answer to that prayer. Tricia and I believe that God is leading us to adopt a child sometime in the next year.

We are currently at the beginning stages of this process, and don't have a whole lot of answers to the questions that may be swirling around in your heads right now. Here's what we do know. There are about 150,000 children in the United States who are on a path to adoption in one form or another. Some are legally free for adoption, and are waiting to find homes. Others are in some sort of transition. We believe that God is asking us to adopt a child from the Foster Care system somewhere in the United States. We believe that He has given us wisdom in this, and has placed a few categories in our thoughts. At this point, we're considering a 5 to 10 year old girl. That's as specific as we have right now.

So, here we are, with this long road ahead of us, one that will be both challenging and rewarding. I think there are three things that we would like you to consider. First, would you join us in praying for not only this process, but for Tricia and I. We need wisdom. Not only for this process, but for the transition from parenting a cat to parenting a child. Please also pray for the child that eventually will be ours. Wow. That sentence carries a lot of weight and responsibility.

Second, a friend of ours made the suggestion that we tell everyone we know (and even people we don't know) about this. They said that you never know when or where an opportunity will show up. They adopted a little girl after a pastor at a church in another state heard about them, and knew about a situation in their town. So, we wanted to bring you into our "network" so to speak.

Third, as there are over 100 people in this e-mail list, it will be hard to keep each of you posted on the progress. So, we've set up a website (or blog), that you can check in on every once in a while (or every day if you want) and see how things are going. It's located at http://hosea14-3.blogspot.com. We're trying to be faithful about posting something on there daily. Sometimes it's a link to a website we've found, sometimes a resource, sometimes more. I think this site will serve two (and hopefully many more) purposes. First, a place for us to put valuable information, so we don't forget. And second, we know there are others who may travel down this same road, and anything we can do to serve them is our pleasure and privilege.

Thank you for taking the time to read this long e-mail. Please feel free to write back and ask questions at any time.

With much love,
Kyle and Tricia Holder

Thoughts from the meeting.

I'm sitting in my car at Miller Park, and I just found that they have public wireless access here.  Makes sense, since Road Runner is a big sponsor of the Brewers.  Pretty Cool.

 

I wanted to take a few minutes and put down some thoughts from the meeting last night, so as to not lose them, and so as to be a helpful resource for others who might follow.

 

75% of children who are placed for Foster Care are eventually reunitied with their families.

21% of the children who are placed for Foster Care are eventually adopted by their Foster Care families.

4% of the children who are placed for Foster Care are eventually adopted by people like us.  People looking specifically to adopt.

 

Then, there's the issue of open adoptions.  When you're adopting a baby, you have the option for an Open Adoption (which could cover a whole broad spectrum of things), or Closed Adoption, which basically means that the child has no contact and sometimes no knowledge of their birth parents. 

 

When you adopt an older child, there is no choice.  To some degree.  They will know who their parents are.  They will remember.  They will likely remember the abuse, and the neglect, or the abandonment.  They might think it's their fault.  They might think that it is impossible to be loved, because if the people who should love them the most (birth parents) don't love them, how can anyone else. 

 

I think my tendency is to want to adopt a child and then help them to forget, or try to erase the wrong that was done to them.  What we learned last night is that's not necessarily an option.  It is our option whether or not we choose to talk about it, or it becomes one of the "Skeletons in the closet."  However, will that be best for the child.  We were told last night that while our desire is for the child to forget, remembering and coming to terms with the wrong that was done to them might just be the best therapy. 

 

If we try to erase the wrong, we are trying to erase part of what made the child who they are.  Our job is to help them understand how their experience shapes who they are.  What an amazing opportunity for the Gospel that I never would have thought of.  What an amazing opportunity to show them that though they were hurt, there is One who will never hurt them, though they were abandoned, there is One who will never abandon them.  I look forward to those conversations, and to see our future daughter grow in the Grace and Knowledge of the Lord through understanding her past, and where she came from. 

 

I am not naieve about this, it won't be easy.  But, what an opportunity for Tricia and I to live the Gospel. We certainly will not abandon her, nor hurt her.  Tricia will be her "Mama" and I will be her "Daddy."  How amazing is it that God gives us that opportunity.  It's a ministry, really, but so much more.

 

I think I'm going to break the thoughts up into a few posts...

 

Thanks for reading!

Why?

Well, Today is Tuesday.  At 3:30 this afternoon, we have our Special Needs Adoption Orientation Meeting in Racine.  I'm not sure what to expect.  Hopefully this evening, either Trish or I will post our thoughts and stuff about what we learned. 

 

We've had a few questions from people about the direction we are going (pursuing public resources for adoption) and if that is the best way, and why we are going that way, rather than going through a private adoption agency.  The answer is simple, actually...  Cash. 

 

I hate to sound crude, crass, or anything like that regarding such a significant decision as adoption, but there is a reality there.  Here's the question that Trish and I asked.  Considering what God has graciously given us in terms of finances, as well as our desire to be good stewards of what God has given us, as well as this desire to adopt, what is the best way to pursue this "calling" financially?  The decision to not pursue a private adoption agency was quite simple. 

 

We don't have the kind of money that they require.  Agencies depend on the adoptive families for funding.  Though they are doing amazing things and fulfilling a Biblical principle, we just don't have the $20,000 to $40,000 that are the typical fees of a private agency.  I also know that the Government has a vested interest in helping orphaned or abandoned kids find homes. 

 

Paul says in Romans 13

 

"For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good."

 

God has given us government for our good, and that means that He has instituted the Adoption programs that our Government has, as a means of grace not only to the lives of the children that they impact, but in the lives of those who wish to adopt.  If it were not for those programs, we would not be in a financial position to puruse this. 

 

If I am reading my Bible correctly, then the public, government funded adoption agency is just as ordained of God as a private, faith-based Christian agency.  And, I think we honor God by our pursuit of Adoption itself, not by whom we choose to adopt through.

 

3:30 draws near...

 

 

 

Tuesday

Next Tuesday, we have an Special Needs Adoption Orientation meeting in Racine.  Please pray for us in that meeting.

 

I found out that in Wisconsin, any child that is in the foster care system is considered "Special Needs."  So the definition is not necessarily limited to health, learning, or psychological issues a child may have.

Be Proactive...

I found an adoption message board tonight, and ran across this interesting post...

 

http://forums.adoption.com/foster-child-adoption-stories/183534-anyone-waiting-adopt-thru-state-recently-adopted-thru-state.html

 

 Well we started over 16 months ago and were basically told the same as you. Problem is they dont tell you to be proactive, your worker, if she is like most , will tell you "Now the long part begins, the waiting for us to match a child with you, be patient and we will contact you soon.." What a load of hog wash.
I found out early that if you dont call at least once a week your waiting time gets longer and longer. We are at the point of visitation with our DD.
Once we started visitations I apologized to our worker for all the phone calls, she then told me that the families that are truely interested in adopting are the ones that keep hounding them, the ones that dont call and set and wait are usually the ones that get chosen two or three years down the road.
Take my advice and those of others from this room, search for childern on the net, call at least once aweek and ask if they have any info, demand to get to go to the adoption parties or what ever they call them in your state.
If you find a child at one of these, find thier worker and spend alot of time getting to know them, email them and ask if they have chosen a family for the child yet.Do as much of the leg work as you can, contact everyone you can, make it so when they hear your name the workers cringe because they havent found you a child yet , .
I know it sounds bad, but if you do all of this you will find a child one that you will match thier needs. and the workers will do thier best to get everything moveing, just to keep you off thier back...

 

Oh.  One more thing.  Feel free to tell your friends and family about this blog.  One thing a friend of us told us is "tell as many people as you can that you want to adopt.  You never know who you talk to knows of a person who knows of a child that's waiting."  Great advice!

 

Frustrating (but good) process so far.

The Dish and I have been praying about our adoption for several months now.  After much research, many questions, and lots of reading, we understood that the best way to go about a domestic foster-care adoption was to get into the Foster Care system. 

 

So, we contacted our county Foster Care department, and scheduled a meeting with them.  This was for initial paperwork, and for them to get to know us.  They arrive at our house, and we begin the paperwork.  About 10 times, The Dish and I mentioned that we are pursuing Adoption, not Foster Care specifically.  It went right over their heads. 

 

At one point, the comment from the social worker is that "Adoption agencies prefer prospective parents to have foster care experience before they'll allow adoption to happen."

 

I walked away from the meeting with the impression that while Adoption through the Foster Care system was possible, they certainly weren't going to encourage it, or help us out.  Their goal (rightfully so) is reunification with families.  Adoption is a last resort.  It became clear very quickly that this might not be the route we needed to go.  So, we decided to begin making a few phone calls and asking some more questions.

 

Then, yesterday, I ran across a phone number at the Wisconsin Adoption Resources website (www.wiadopt.org).  I called them, and was immediately connected to a social worker who was able to answer some significant questions.  First of all, I learned that the Foster Care people's statement about agencies prefering foster care experience was not true.  At the time, it seemed kind of self-serving, but I had no reason not to trust them.

 

So, we are being signed up for an Adoption Orientation meeting in April.

 

I think we're on the right track now!