Thoughts from the meeting.

I'm sitting in my car at Miller Park, and I just found that they have public wireless access here.  Makes sense, since Road Runner is a big sponsor of the Brewers.  Pretty Cool.

 

I wanted to take a few minutes and put down some thoughts from the meeting last night, so as to not lose them, and so as to be a helpful resource for others who might follow.

 

75% of children who are placed for Foster Care are eventually reunitied with their families.

21% of the children who are placed for Foster Care are eventually adopted by their Foster Care families.

4% of the children who are placed for Foster Care are eventually adopted by people like us.  People looking specifically to adopt.

 

Then, there's the issue of open adoptions.  When you're adopting a baby, you have the option for an Open Adoption (which could cover a whole broad spectrum of things), or Closed Adoption, which basically means that the child has no contact and sometimes no knowledge of their birth parents. 

 

When you adopt an older child, there is no choice.  To some degree.  They will know who their parents are.  They will remember.  They will likely remember the abuse, and the neglect, or the abandonment.  They might think it's their fault.  They might think that it is impossible to be loved, because if the people who should love them the most (birth parents) don't love them, how can anyone else. 

 

I think my tendency is to want to adopt a child and then help them to forget, or try to erase the wrong that was done to them.  What we learned last night is that's not necessarily an option.  It is our option whether or not we choose to talk about it, or it becomes one of the "Skeletons in the closet."  However, will that be best for the child.  We were told last night that while our desire is for the child to forget, remembering and coming to terms with the wrong that was done to them might just be the best therapy. 

 

If we try to erase the wrong, we are trying to erase part of what made the child who they are.  Our job is to help them understand how their experience shapes who they are.  What an amazing opportunity for the Gospel that I never would have thought of.  What an amazing opportunity to show them that though they were hurt, there is One who will never hurt them, though they were abandoned, there is One who will never abandon them.  I look forward to those conversations, and to see our future daughter grow in the Grace and Knowledge of the Lord through understanding her past, and where she came from. 

 

I am not naieve about this, it won't be easy.  But, what an opportunity for Tricia and I to live the Gospel. We certainly will not abandon her, nor hurt her.  Tricia will be her "Mama" and I will be her "Daddy."  How amazing is it that God gives us that opportunity.  It's a ministry, really, but so much more.

 

I think I'm going to break the thoughts up into a few posts...

 

Thanks for reading!