Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches Now Available

Dr. Russel Moore's highly anticipated book, "Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches" is now available. I've got my copy and will be working through it. I'll post my thoughts and reviews here over the next few weeks.

Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches

No, Mr. President

HT: Justin Taylor

Matt Chandler

This has nothing to do with adoption - yet everything at the same time. Well worth your four minutes.

OK. Now it is.

Well, it seems we have our answer.

Let me explain. No, wait, not enough time. Let me sum up.

Our prayers over the past 24 hours have been that birthmom and dad would be in agreement, and that this wouldn't escalate into a nasty court battle. We found out just a little bit ago that the caseworker, birthmom and dad met today, and things went very well. Dad is now completely on board with the adoption, and believes its the right direction for them to go. PRAISE GOD! This is an unbelievable answer to prayer.

Together, birthmom and dad have chosen two couples that they want to consider, and we're not one of those couples.

Here's the scoop. We are grieving because this didn't work in our direction, but given all the possibilities that didn't include us, this is the best possible outcome in my mind. Birthmom and Dad agree on this, there is no nasty court battle to come, and the baby will be placed with a good family. We rejoice in those things. God did answer our prayers, in a truly miraculous way. It wasn't quite the way we would have wanted (selfishly), but this is a good thing.

Thank you for all of your prayers the past few days. We have been encouraged by our friends and family who have been standing with us in prayer. I would humbly ask that you keep praying for us - discouragement will be in our lives the next few weeks / months.

Also, keep the birthmom and dad in your prayers. She's 35 weeks along and has been having contractions the past few days. Please pray that they would continue to have unity and peace in this process.

As for us, we're going to complete our homestudy and see what God does. We're not necessarily getting back into pursuing adoption (this is too new to decide for sure), but we want to be ready.

Again, thank you for your prayers and encouragment. We love y'all.

It's not over... yet!

In Tricia's previous post, she said that this was a journey of ups and downs. Sunday was definitely one of the downs.

But, we were unsettled about some things. I'm not even sure that I know all the things we were unsettled about, but there were a lot of unanswered questions for us. So, we did some praying. We decided that we needed to talk to the caseworker and at the very minimum, ask her to explain some things. At the very maximum, ask her if we could meet the birthmom and ask her to reconsider.

So, we called the caseworker. She said that what we were experiencing was typical of people who go through loss. That may be true, but we were experiencing something else. It was a sense that we couldn't just let it end, that this story wasn't written yet. We said that we would like to meet the birthmom, even though she's initially said no. The caseworker then told us that this may turn into a custody battle.

If the birth father doesn't give up his rights, it then proceeds to the courts. When the baby is born, the adoptive parents take custody, and there's a petition for adoption filed. At that point, the father would then challenge the adoption, and a hearing would be set for three to six months out. At that time, he would have to prove to the court that he's a capable father, and the adoptive parents would have to prove he isn't.

The court could rule in either direction, and if the court rules in favor of the father, the adoptive parents would lose custody, and be responsible for the father's legal fees. The birthmom would also lose custody, because she's signed a TPR (Termination of Parental Rights).

The caseworker wanted to know if we'd be up for that. At this point, we're willing to take the risk. This could be a very expensive, long drawn out thing. That is, if she reconsiders and chooses us. That's up in the air.

The caseworker told us that on Monday after the birthmom decided against us, that she gave the birthmom another family to look at, and the birthmom liked them. Later that day, this family called the caseworker and told her they weren't interested. The caseworker told us she's never had this happen before. All these other families are falling through, and even though we've been rejected, we just don't seem to go away. She also said that she's running out of options for adoptive parents.

So, where are we at? We don't know. The caseworker is going to re-present us to the birthmom today and ask her to reconsider. She's also going to meet with the father today, and explain what he'll have to go through, and what he's going to be putting the baby through if he doesn't go along with this adoption. If the birthmom decides she wants to meet us, we'll leave here on Friday and try to meet her over the weekend.

Here's the point. Please pray that the father has a change of heart about this adoption. Our prayer is that God would humble him, and help him to realize that he can't do this as he is right now, and that even if he were to win in a court battle, the state would most likely take the baby right out of his arms at the courthouse anyway. Then, he has no control. Our prayer is that he would see this situation with clarity. Pray (please) that this wouldn't go to court, and that this would be resolved easily. Our prayer is also that the birthmom would seriously reconsider us. Would you join us in praying for these things?

Thank you for your support, encouragement, and your prayers through this whole ordeal. This is where real life happens - in the trenches.

S.D.G
Kyle & Trish

Ups and Downs

We knew this process would have ups and downs. Right now we're in one of the downs. We just heard from Ben who spoke with the birthmom's grandmother. She said the birthmom didn't seem interested in us because of the distance. We know that God is Sovereign over all things, but selfishly we pray that the birthmom would be okay about the distance and pick us to be the parents for her child. But if that is not the decision that's made, please pray that we would still see God's hand in this and give Him the glory for allowing us to walk through this process.

Update

So, we just talked with the case worker. The other family backed out of this situation on their own. What does all this mean? Well, right now the birthmom only has our profile in her hands for consideration. She could see something in there that she doesn't like, but she could also pick us. All I can say right now is WOW!

Adopted For Life

The ABBA fund does a great job comparing the adoption of children to our adoption as children of God.

On Monday we received our son’s Decree of Adoption in the mail. This is the document that tells us his adoption is final. Declared. Legal.
...

“It is hereby ordered, adjudged, and decreed by the Court:

(1) That from the date of the entry of this Decree herein, the said minor is declared adopted for life…

...

In light of this, here are some thoughts on our adoption in Christ:

1. You have been “adopted for life”! Eternal life to be exact! Our earthly adoption of our son is only temporary. God’s adoption of us is even greater because it is eternal.
2. You have experienced a complete substitution of family. You have a new family, a new Father, new perfect elder brother (Jesus), and new brothers and sisters (the church!). We may still have responsibilities to our earthly family but our ultimate responsibility is to our heavenly Father and his will and purposes.
3. You are a heir of everything that Christ will inherit!
4. You have the same legal status, rights, obligations as a natural child of God.

Read the whole thing here.

Not much news, but some news.

I spoke with the case worker today. She has given the birthmom our profile, and the birthmom will look it over. The case worker said she didn't seem scared off by the fact that we are from Wisconsin. The case worker did say that the birthmom had chosen one family from the set of three that she would like to meet. She suggested to the birthmom that she wait to make a final decision until she's had a chance to look at our stuff.

Also, the family she chose is in the midst of another adoptive possibility - so who knows. The case worker is going to recommend that they pass on our opportunity, and pursue this other one. It sounds like that family needs prayer for wisdom as well. They are going through the Foster Care adoption route, and are scheduled to be placed with a child (22 month old) the very same week that our birthmom is due. The mother of the 22 month old is also due with another child the same week, so there may be two children involved. The case worker doesn't think it's wise to go from nothing to three kids under the age of two in a matter of hours. So...

We don't know much more at this point. Trish is much more encouraged at this point than I am. I guess that I'm fighting the battle of unbelief.

Some other good updates.

• Birthmom scheduled a doctor's appointment for the next few days.
• She's also supposed to meet with the family who is offering to take her in rent-free until she gets back on her feet - that meeting is supposed to take place on Saturday.
• Birthmom approached her boss and asked if she could be transfered to another location to get her out of that particular neighborhood. He said "Yes."
• Birthmom and Case Worker had a good conversation today about the technical details on adoption.
  
• According to the calendar, baby is due May 10th. According to a sonogram (at some point), baby is due the last week of April.
  

I'm trying to not get too attached, but it's hard.

Thanks for reading!

Quote of the Day

"Our hopes that we shall persevere must be founded, not upon our own strength, for that will fail us, but upon the mercy of God, for that will not fail."
-Matthew Henry