It's not over... yet!

In Tricia's previous post, she said that this was a journey of ups and downs. Sunday was definitely one of the downs.

But, we were unsettled about some things. I'm not even sure that I know all the things we were unsettled about, but there were a lot of unanswered questions for us. So, we did some praying. We decided that we needed to talk to the caseworker and at the very minimum, ask her to explain some things. At the very maximum, ask her if we could meet the birthmom and ask her to reconsider.

So, we called the caseworker. She said that what we were experiencing was typical of people who go through loss. That may be true, but we were experiencing something else. It was a sense that we couldn't just let it end, that this story wasn't written yet. We said that we would like to meet the birthmom, even though she's initially said no. The caseworker then told us that this may turn into a custody battle.

If the birth father doesn't give up his rights, it then proceeds to the courts. When the baby is born, the adoptive parents take custody, and there's a petition for adoption filed. At that point, the father would then challenge the adoption, and a hearing would be set for three to six months out. At that time, he would have to prove to the court that he's a capable father, and the adoptive parents would have to prove he isn't.

The court could rule in either direction, and if the court rules in favor of the father, the adoptive parents would lose custody, and be responsible for the father's legal fees. The birthmom would also lose custody, because she's signed a TPR (Termination of Parental Rights).

The caseworker wanted to know if we'd be up for that. At this point, we're willing to take the risk. This could be a very expensive, long drawn out thing. That is, if she reconsiders and chooses us. That's up in the air.

The caseworker told us that on Monday after the birthmom decided against us, that she gave the birthmom another family to look at, and the birthmom liked them. Later that day, this family called the caseworker and told her they weren't interested. The caseworker told us she's never had this happen before. All these other families are falling through, and even though we've been rejected, we just don't seem to go away. She also said that she's running out of options for adoptive parents.

So, where are we at? We don't know. The caseworker is going to re-present us to the birthmom today and ask her to reconsider. She's also going to meet with the father today, and explain what he'll have to go through, and what he's going to be putting the baby through if he doesn't go along with this adoption. If the birthmom decides she wants to meet us, we'll leave here on Friday and try to meet her over the weekend.

Here's the point. Please pray that the father has a change of heart about this adoption. Our prayer is that God would humble him, and help him to realize that he can't do this as he is right now, and that even if he were to win in a court battle, the state would most likely take the baby right out of his arms at the courthouse anyway. Then, he has no control. Our prayer is that he would see this situation with clarity. Pray (please) that this wouldn't go to court, and that this would be resolved easily. Our prayer is also that the birthmom would seriously reconsider us. Would you join us in praying for these things?

Thank you for your support, encouragement, and your prayers through this whole ordeal. This is where real life happens - in the trenches.

S.D.G
Kyle & Trish